And It Goes a Little Sumthin' Like This...



Okay so I actually tuned into America's Next Top Model today and I was really disappointed. I mean, honestly, the girls aren't that great to me. None of them. Anchal's the prettiest one if you ask me, but then again, I do have a tendency to gravitate towards exotic-looking people. Eugena is a fugmonster, the end. Plus her attitude was really shiesty, but of course, all black people on ANTM have to be complete divas. Jaeda's okay, but babe. It's just hair. It grows back. And when it does you'll wish you had it in your shorter, less fussy style again. I promise. I've been there and done that. And those twins?! Don't even get me started on them. Honestly, I don't see how they last day in and day out on that show. They're just meh to me. They're not raving beauties. In fact, they look really sickly to me. Monique was one of the prettiest girls up there but of course she had to eff up and get kicked off. Melrose is gorgeous, but she only knows how to do one thing, and that's be sexy. Plus she's so mean to poor little Anchal, it ain't right, folks. But I do like CariDee. She's pretty and seems nice. I'll be rooting for her, I guess.

But honestly. This show has been running for how long? How many seasons? And girls still do not get it. When you go on ANTM, a number of things are going to happen. 1) They're going to cut and dye your hair; 2) You're going to pose naked; 3) You're going to pose under the harshest of conditions; and 4) You're going to pose with a creepy-looking animal. Why haven't these girls caught on yet? Year after year someone walks off or cries their doe eyes out because Tyra asked the stylists to lop off six inches and dye it platinum blonde, or because they had to pose in the buff in a frigid waterfall with an anaconda. Here's a little public service announcement for anybody who plans on auditioning for next season's ANTM. Don't go on the show if you don't plan on doing any of these four curricula. You'll just get kicked off.

Whew! Well, there is one great thing about models, and that's their fabulous skin that I just absolutely envy. So who better to ask for tips than the people who prettify these gorgeous gazelles at fashion shows? (Okay, so I really don't have access to these people, but you get my drift.) There's just something about models and the way they look off the runway. Their skin is damn near perfect. They just look fabulously flawless. But they still look natural, and I think everybody's trying to find a way to obtain that natural look that models go through so much work to achieve (coincidentally). So I went to sephora.com (because Sephora is, after all, my heaven) and found some ways of looking totally natural and pretty much like you didn't try. But I know you did!

Face:

Concealer used to be my arch enemy, and now I swear by it! It's more concentrated than foundation, of course, but that's because you only use it in those key areas (for me that's my chin and my cheeks, damn hard Richmond water!) and voila! Absolute perfection. The most talked about concealer in the beauty world would probably be Becca Compact Concealer, $35. That's because it comes in like, a million shades so there's no way you can't find your shade (a common problem among women with darker skintones). And you get two shades of creamy perfection-in-a-compact. On the left we have the sheerer concealer for those mild issues, and a more mattified concealer on the right for really noticeable blemishes. You'll be thanking me for this one!

Cheeks:

Glowiness is my life goal. I am on that neverending search for that perfect glow-factor, and that search may end with Tarte Cheek Stain, $28. Remember, "sheer" is the name of the game when you're trying to play it natural, and this stuff definitely is sheer. I was turned on to it by my golden goddesses at makeupalley and my idol, Tia Williams, and if these lassies say it's right, you cannot go wrong. I'm in love with the Bronze Goddess shade myself, for that extra "mwah" of color.

Eyes:

I think this is where many people completely eff up the natural look. A clean eye is key to looking like you have no makeup on. I say just stick to good old mascara (and I have another great trick for you in a sec!). That's where Benefit Bad Gal Lash, $19, comes in. This stuff gives you kickass lashes like you have never seen. I first experienced this orgasmic goodness at my first trip to Sephora last year. The Benefit lady put it on and I immediately felt like throwing out my inferior Maybelline Great Lash. This stuff practically gropes every lash you have and your eyes are instantly clean and perfect. (Oh, and don't forget to take care of those brows. It keeps a natural look, or any look for that matter, nice and clean. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, and in my opinion, eyebrows are like the blinds. Make sure they're Egyptian cotton, people, not polyester.) And for a bit of extra wonderful-ness in the eye area, just take a bronzy lipgloss and schmear it over your lid. You can even use clear lipgloss (I did this today and wondered where it had been all my life!). Your eyes will thank you for it.

Lips:

Mmmm, mmmm, lips. Another area where gals tend to do a lousy job trying to be natural. The best thing to do to find the perfect shade for you is to simply find one that's similar to your natural lip color, just with a tad more depth and shimmer. Until that day, try Lorac Lip Polish in Beauty, $17.50. Besides the gimmicky nail polish look of the bottle, this stuff is amazingly gorgeous! Now, I know it looks light but in fact it goes on really shimmery and pretty! Trust me, pretties, and buy it!

Okay, I've typed so much today I can barely stand it! But I'm lovin' my blog, and hopefully, so are you! (Is anybody reading this?) Well, guess I burned the midnight oil again. It's probably the excitement of actually writing in my blog and my birfday coming up in less than TWO DAYS NOW! I'll definitely show you some pics on how to look hawt for the big one-nine! Well, dolls, I'm off to shower, pop a Tylenol PM and count some sheep! Or maybe some eye palettes or something.

Pageant wave to all of you!
Brittney